Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
