Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
