A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
