Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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