Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
