i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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