i don't plan on having that self control this summer
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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