I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
