if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Congratulations! We have a period
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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