Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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