That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
