**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
