good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
