you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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