I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
