saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
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