it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
