omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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