My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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