How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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