so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
