He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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