K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
