You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We're too hungover to prance.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
