Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
