I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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