Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
