today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
