I skipped work to stalk him.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
we should paint friendship bongs
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