I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
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He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
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There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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