apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.