I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
