Texts From Last Night

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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Don't make out with my wife yet

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  (205): Don't make out with my wife yet http://tfl.nu/oypy
  Replies (3) Good night (1005) Bad night (1030)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"

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  (215): yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer" http://tfl.nu/i0t9
  Replies (33) Good night (8406) Bad night (864)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I hate the hobo that sits outside our building

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  Joe or Chris?

  (314): View more from Missouri

  do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.

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  (314): I hate the hobo that sits outside our building (1-314): Joe or Chris? (314): do i even wanna kno y u kno their names? (1-314): well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye. http://tfl.nu/9vla
  Replies (17) Good night (8327) Bad night (1234)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.

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  (203): I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore. http://tfl.nu/i7wi
  Replies (19) Good night (3867) Bad night (1171)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"

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  (443): her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does" http://tfl.nu/16y8
  Replies (16) Good night (2081) Bad night (6860)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.

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  (573): What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important. http://tfl.nu/vy7b
  Replies (19) Good night (701) Bad night (4966)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.

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  (253): If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life. http://tfl.nu/jc0t
  Replies (15) Good night (3423) Bad night (903)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together

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  (216): Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together http://tfl.nu/si4s
  Replies (2) Good night (1389) Bad night (747)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.

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  (910): Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me. http://tfl.nu/zvsa
  Replies (2) Good night (1048) Bad night (525)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.

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  (414): I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me. http://tfl.nu/n4ee
  Replies (5) Good night (1183) Bad night (594)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Do you know how to give stiches?

  (1-612): View more from Minnesota

  I do not...this text concerns me

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  (612): Do you know how to give stiches? (1-612): I do not...this text concerns me http://tfl.nu/8jm1
  Replies (5) Good night (1748) Bad night (634)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  But theres a keg here and me gusta

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  (267): But theres a keg here and me gusta http://tfl.nu/yus2
  Replies (6) Good night (1332) Bad night (543)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.

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  (949): Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza. http://tfl.nu/9evg
  Replies (8) Good night (733) Bad night (473)
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  (516): View more from New York

  yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...

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  (516): yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye... http://tfl.nu/3it0
  Replies (2) Good night (877) Bad night (555)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.

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  (405): Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick. http://tfl.nu/t0hp
  Replies (6) Good night (1001) Bad night (340)

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