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Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
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