Texts From Last Night

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  (334): View more from Alabama

  I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.

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  (334): I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet. http://tfl.nu/qfk7
  Replies (47) Good night (1118) Bad night (4493)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.

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  (630): Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself. http://tfl.nu/vif9
  Replies (55) Good night (11038) Bad night (1465)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.

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  (757): I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton. http://tfl.nu/4m44
  Replies (59) Good night (2366) Bad night (1024)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.

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  (801): He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face. http://tfl.nu/vz1o
  Replies (79) Good night (8823) Bad night (3045)
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  (845): View more from New York

  all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed

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  (845): all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed http://tfl.nu/tu27
  Replies (26) Good night (4726) Bad night (1392)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.

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  (416): Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment. http://tfl.nu/mdg4
  Replies (9) Good night (8260) Bad night (976)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober

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  (224): Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober http://tfl.nu/war3
  Replies (15) Good night (2200) Bad night (846)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.

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  (406): It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut. http://tfl.nu/m0ui
  Replies (14) Good night (2023) Bad night (687)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted

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  (808): he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted http://tfl.nu/o6gq
  Replies (7) Good night (923) Bad night (1793)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse

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  (631): I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse http://tfl.nu/4qxw
  Replies (14) Good night (678) Bad night (1351)
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  (562): View more from California

  Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night

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  (562): Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night http://tfl.nu/ygnc
  Replies (4) Good night (899) Bad night (416)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.

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  (740): We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well. http://tfl.nu/ojjo
  Replies (5) Good night (1256) Bad night (403)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.

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  (646): I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar. http://tfl.nu/2k0c
  Replies (5) Good night (1078) Bad night (258)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.

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  (615): Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud. http://tfl.nu/i1my
  Replies (7) Good night (845) Bad night (481)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.

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  (407): She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning. http://tfl.nu/3wwx
  Replies (3) Good night (760) Bad night (202)

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