Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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