Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night! http://tfl.nu/g3lv
  Replies (10) Good night (3799) Bad night (1060)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit. http://tfl.nu/7z3f
  Replies (20) Good night (3754) Bad night (962)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise http://tfl.nu/iazs
  Replies (11) Good night (5256) Bad night (894)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  We left an ass print on the piano.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): We left an ass print on the piano. http://tfl.nu/qaoo
  Replies (23) Good night (4067) Bad night (1034)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  "too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): "too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence http://tfl.nu/grgx
  Replies (14) Good night (2707) Bad night (735)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand. http://tfl.nu/l8ik
  Replies (8) Good night (875) Bad night (2214)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin... http://tfl.nu/m01o
  Replies (2) Good night (675) Bad night (2059)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing http://tfl.nu/nbfy
  Replies (25) Good night (971) Bad night (1553)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind. http://tfl.nu/1wyd
  Replies (9) Good night (1791) Bad night (609)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (774): This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey http://tfl.nu/q901
  Replies (10) Good night (1867) Bad night (774)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL. http://tfl.nu/149w
  Replies (12) Good night (825) Bad night (2323)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth. http://tfl.nu/ne7c
  Replies (5) Good night (779) Bad night (466)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (479): Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life. http://tfl.nu/ufi2
  Replies (0) Good night (651) Bad night (318)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months http://tfl.nu/j2ye
  Replies (0) Good night (390) Bad night (323)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (386): I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty http://tfl.nu/i6ce
  Replies (3) Good night (608) Bad night (341)

Randomize