shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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