the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
