it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
