He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
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He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
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Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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