I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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