I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Your cock deserves a montage
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
