I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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