why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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