..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
