if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize