Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
