a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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