Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm at about main and main street
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
