UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Randomize
