just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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