so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
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I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
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I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
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