question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Less talking, more tequila
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
