i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize