please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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