I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
