I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
