imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
