names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
