He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He passed out mid-signature
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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