Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
