She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
