Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
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