the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
