sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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